The death of a dear one and our response to it

Death is the biggest cause of insecurity and grief to us. I too am concerned about death and its effects on people. I am also curious to know what death is. I am going to write about death as I see it after experiencing the death of my mother two years ago.

She had cancer. We did not inform her about her disease as my papa did not have the courage and I did not believe in the doctors about their diagnosis. I still am very suspicious about what doctors say. Mother’s cancer spread to her lungs and the last two days she had increasing difficulty in breathing. Everybody believed that it was the end of her life, reluctantly I too believed it. And the last 2 days were terrible for her and for us. She was admitted in a hospital and she was sedated. I felt as if we were waiting for her to die which made me feel so bad. I searched everywhere for some consolation. I felt I would die. When she passed away, I had severe pain in my chest and I felt dizzy and I felt like falling unconscious. I somehow managed to hang on. The thoughts that gave me strength were that my papa needed me and that my mother always wanted me to get the best in the world and I imagined that her soul wanted me to not only carry on but also to excel in life and be happy in life. She wanted me to lead a good life and take care of my father.

My mom did not understand me well, but she always supported me and I was never afraid of her. I knew that she would always love me even if the whole world hated me. I was special to her. I sometimes argued with her for not understanding me and my thoughts. However, I was always sure of her support and love.  She was only a human and she had her failures also. When death approached her, I was devastated. I was not married. I did not have any job as I was trying to make sense of the world at that time by reading, thinking and experiencing. I want to share my thought on death, so that others who are dealing with death may get some strength to face it.

When a person has lived for nearly a century and has experienced as many things as possible, for that person it is usually not difficult to accept death. Some aged people even wait for death.  There are times when the society becomes so insensitive that it forces people to commit suicide.

If our loved one is dying, then we feel angry, sad, abandoned, lonely and confused.  People with high self confidence and self esteem often become depressed when their loved ones are about to die. Our attitude to life and death both matter in such a situation. We should accept that life is a phenomenon and we know very little about it. It is very easy to get angry with God, but we must realize that our knowledge and wisdom are very limited and there are so many things about ourselves that we don’t understand. Death cannot be the end. Death is only a transformation from one form of existence to another about which we cannot know because we are prisoners of our senses and we are destined to be humans and we can know only those things that humans need to know.

Hence, it is important to be humble and to believe that nature and God know better. We must trust God and nature and believe that they will do only those things which are good for us. Those things may seem to be unfair, but everything will turn out to be good if we continue to be good human beings. God will take care of our loved one in the other world. The concepts of sins and punishment are man made, which were made to scare people to stop them from doing bad things. I believe that in the other world, nothing is like what we see or feel here, it is totally different. Therefore, our concepts are meanigless there. God will do only good to our loved ones as he does to us.  We must emerge more noble and strong after every tribulation and our dead loved ones will also be helped by God to be happy where they are.  However, if we do bad things in this world the bad effects will be left for ever in this world to be experienced by us and our loved ones.

We are helpless when our loved ones are near death. However, we should not feel guilty that we are somehow responsible to save them from death. We should try our best to find ways to save them, but if everything fails we should not blame ourselves.

We should not give the care of our loved ones who are near death to experts. We should take control and as far as possible keep the experts away. We should be with them caring for them.

It is very important that we do not believe the words of doctors when it comes to the time left to live. There are so many instances when doctors predicted death within days and the patients went on to live for many years. The future is highly uncertain and nobody can predict what will happen in the future and doctors are no exception. Therefore, when we take care of our loved ones we should believe that the person will go on living and we should behave accordingly. It is foolish and fatal to accept that death is imminent just because doctors said so. Doctors are also humans and they depend on past experiences to predict the future. In life, our beliefs often come true. Therefore, we should believe the best and give confidence to our loved ones. We must stay with them and make them believe that we are always with them caring for them. They must also know that if they die we will continue to live on, helping each other.

The presence of our loved ones can give us consolation at such times. It was nice to see even my enemies at the time of my mother’s demise because that indicated a kind of bond between us. The loved ones can give us help and they can divert our attention to other things as well.

After our loved one has ceased to breath, some experts will say that the person is dead. However, there have been instances when people have again started to breath after some hours. Therefore, we must not cremate the body before it starts to decompose, which shows that the person is indeed dead.

We must share our grief with others and we should not suppress our need to cry. We must not become so emotional as to ignore our duties.  We must remember that our deceased ones want us to carry on with life. They do want us to remember them and pray for them. They would be devastated if they come to know that because of them we have stopped living. The dead relatives and friends are in other world about which we cannot know. I prefer to believe that they know what we do and what happen to us.  If we go on to live a happy and noble life, they will be proud of us. Of course, they would be happy if we acknowledge their contributions and pray for them.

I hope my experience and my views can help people who are dealing with serious illness and death in the family. I pray that God give them strength.

Wanted for USA, Europe and Gulf wage/salary slaves- Study Kerala, Study well- Your MASTERS are waiting

Sometimes, I feel helpless about the mentality of my people. They study, they go abroad, they work hard, they sacrifice, they complain, they make money, they spend it, they marry, but they don't get time to spend with their spouse, they raise children and educate them and then, they send them abroad. During the old age, they wait for their children to come on leave, and struggle alone with all the problems that old age brings.

I am writing this because today I heard problems faced by women in Gulf countries. I am anguished because I don't understand or may be I fully understand why people need to leave their loved ones and go abroad. I wonder why people of Kerala and India need to serve the Americans, Europeans and Arabs to get money. Why can't they serve Keralites and get money for that? Are keralites any less deserving or any less humans than Americans or Europeans? For sure, malayalis are far better than the Arabs. Then,why can't the young people be with their loving parents and grand parents when they are lying paralysed? Why can't lakhs of Malayalis be with their children to see them learn to walk and speak and to hold their hands when the children need that support?  Why do malayali women need to sell their flesh to the anilmals abroad?
Why do people think that to live we need to adjust with these kinds of injustice?

I teach English. Therefore, I get many adults who work, or have worked abroad. One of my students lost his business worth millions of Rupees in gulf because his sponsor cheated him. My students tell me their sufferings.

There is a term called wage slavery. It refers to those people who work for others for a wage /salary.

We all think that the days of slavery are over. However, the fact is that slavery is alive and more widespread than ever in the form of wage slavery.  There isn't much difference in the effects of the old slavery and the wage slavery on the life of slaves. The only difference is that in the old period, people easily recognised a slave and everyone was well aware of slavery, whereas today a slave is not easily recognised. Fossil fuels, Electricity, development of machines, brain washing in the form of modern Education and modern means of entertainment like TV have successfully made us clueless and confused about reality.

The tragedy is that we don't even know the existance of slavery among us and that we are wage slaves.

Money, international finance, words, psychology, sociology and even religion along with all human knowledge are being used to make us work for the elite, be they in India or in Europe or anywhere in the world.

We are being educated to work for somebody else. We are made helpless to face the world alone. We lack the courage, desire and the ability to live as free people. We are divided and sent to many parts of the world in the name of labour mobility. We fight for small things and our minds get trapped in those small things and we never think about the larger picture or big things. As children, we all have the ability to survive on our own, but in schools and in society, we are taught that we can't survive independently. Our natural abilities are taken away and we are forced to work as  wage slaves. The worst thing is that no body is giving attention to the fact that we all are turning into slaves. We don't even know that we are wage slaves.

I shudder when I see our leaders competing to make more malayalis wage slaves.

Dear Friends if you really love yourself, or your loved ones or your country or your God, then stand up and refuse to work for others for salary. You lose out in every way when you become a wage slave. Be your own boss. Start your own work. To start your own work, find out the things that the people around you need and train yourself to give that. Then, serve your people in Kerala. You will have to face many problems but mate, this is our place and what is life without struggles and we are fighting for our people's freedom, life and dignity. You will be able to help your loved ones whenever they need. More important is that you will be able to stay with your wife, children and your parents. What life is better than this? Come on, there is a great life waiting for you if only you would show the courage and the wisdom to tear away the lies put on your eyes.

People of Kerala are the Best. We need to wake up and realise that we can become rich by serving our people. It is a propaganda that we need to serve others to become rich. Friends, we are not born for wage slavery. Don't waste your life. Open your eyes.
 IF WE WORK TOGETHER THEN WE CAN FIND SOLUTION FOR ANYTING.

Read www.YouTakeResponsibility.com to find out more about what is forcing malayalis to work abroad.

Good Values are more important than anything else, even Money.

Bebel , a 21 year old man, , was among his relatives attending a party.

An uncle: Young man, what ‘s up? What are you doing now?

Bebel’s Papa: He completed his graduation and he is trying to get a job now. He is confused about which job to do.

Uncle: Son, you are not going to get any good job after doing graduation. You need to specialize in a subject.

Bebel’s Mom: He is actually more into serving people and doing social work.

Everybody in the room comes closer with a smile.

An Aunt: Well, that is good. He can take M S W. He can go abroad and make good money. He can do social work too.

A cousin: Aunt, that is a good idea.  

Bebel’s Mom:  We too have told him that. However, he says that he does not want to do post graduation. He wants to do some good work, like opening an old age home or a place for the destitute.

Another aunt: How good is that.

A cousin: He is so honest and kind. He will do that work well. I like that idea.

An Uncle: That is all good and well. How will he make money for that? How will he make a living from that? How will he take care of his family? We need money to survive. Son, you should make some money first. Then, you can do all these things.

Haven’t you too heard comments like this, in which people say that no emotion or quality is worthy if it can’t bring in money for you?

Are you not being brainwashed into thinking that money is everything in life? People may give lip service to good values, art, spirituality, nationalism, freedom, justice, relationships etc, but money and selfishness are the most important motives behind all these.

Sometimes I wonder if I am wrong to consider good values to be something real, because going after money pays and you can live with your head high in front of others. People respect the rich. We can control the behavior of others if we have money. So what if we are forced to do things that we don’t like to make money. So what if we have to work like slaves for days together far away from our homes. Everything is alright if we are able to make money. What is wrong in compromising on our values, if we are paid well? If we have money, we can donate to poor people and do good things for others. We can do anything that is legal for money, because we have a family to look after.

However, my faith in following good values is strengthened when I see the cost that we need to pay to get money. If we have to lose our soul to get money, would you willingly sell your soul for money. When I consider what is important in life, I feel that money is nothing. I feel that spirituality, freedom, education, human cooperation, justice, kindness and non-violence are the most important things in life. I have found the truth about money and I have explained it in my website www.YouTakeResponsibility.com. My resolve to follow good values is strengthened whenever I see sufferings around me.

I think everyone should find out the truth that money is a trap to enslave us. If we want to live a real life, we must rise above money. We must take care of each other. This is very difficult to do. However, if we work together, it will be very easy to live a good life. I invite you all to discuss this matter.  

It is in our hands to make life beautiful

Today, I was jogging alone in the municipal stadium of Thiruvalla after 7 am. The sunlight was falling on my face and entire body. It was not warm-just a sensation of bright light on the body. It was wonderful to run in the sunlight especially when there was nothing to bother me. I looked around-it was all greenary. I listened and heard the sweet sound of some birds. I love the sound of a bird which people here call sparrow in Malayalam, but this one is only one or two inch long. It has a captivating sound and the way it moves around is so cute. The sound of my footsteps and breath seemed to be in rhythm. Then, My heart opened up and it was filled with gratitude towards God, my parents, my wife, my friends and everything in the world. It was one of those rare moments when I live in the present and enjoy life. At that moment, life seemed to be beautiful. Nothing bothered me. I was not worried of anything. I had a feeling of being one with the nature. The following thoughts occured to me at that time.

We all are capable of accepting good values and habits in life. However, if our community gives importance to things that are not desirable and forces us to imitate them, then peace, happiness and joy will remain strangers to us.  And today the society is forcing us to accept unnatural values and habits. However, if we act prudently and return to natural values and habits life will become beautiful.

Today, it is very hard to control our brains. We must realize that just like any other organ our brain is also an organ. We do not keep on using our hands when we do not want to use it. However, our brain keeps on thinking even when we do not want to think. That is causing misery to us. We must be able to concentrate on the things that are happening at present and stop our mind from keep on thinking about past or future. It is important to think about past and future at certain times. However, when we begin to be unhappy because of our thoughts, I think we should stop thinking for a short period and start to concentrate on things around us and do things that we enjoy for sometime everyday. Exercise is an activity that nature wants us to do. Our body can function well only if it gets proper exercise.

Living in the present without fear or worry is the key to a happy life. Living with gratitute towards everybody in life makes us happy and improves the quality of our relationships with others. Being kind to others makes us better humans.  

It was nice to see children behaving respectfully towards others

Today, a 7th class student invited us to visit his school to see an exhibition. We teach him at our institute, so we accepted his invitation. We wanted to see his happiness on seeing us. Three people from our institute and one student of ours left for his school in the afternoon on two bikes. We reached that school in around twenty minutes. We entered that school and found that the school has an interesting aspect to it. It is a four storied building nearly at the centre of a small hill. The road winds and takes us to the top of the building and the entrance is at the top floor. We looked around and kids were  standing at different places- some gatherered in groups and some loitering alone. Some students were in uniform-cream shirt and brown pants and skirts. The kids were looking lovely, adorable and cute. Some students were wearing beautiful colour dresses. Teachers could be seen in bright sarees, some looking worried, some in a hurry, some bored and some enjoying the occasion. We somehow found the place where our student had invited us, but to our disappointment he was not at his place. A small, lovely child standing at his place told us that he had left the place sometime ago. We looked around, but could not find him. At that time, a suggestion came up that we should all split up and each one should search in a different direction. We did that and finally we found him at the ground floor. He was perspiring profusely. We talked to him and he was about to introduce us to his friends when we told him to meet the other people who came with us. Then, we went upstairs. We were all tired by now. Later, we said good bye to him and returned.

We found the students in the school to be very respectful and friendly. We were talking about this when somebody told us that once a father took admission for his son in this school. The son was very naughty and disobedient. In some days after joining the school, the behaviour of the boy started to change, and one day, the boy touched the feet of his father and mother reverently. This brought tears into the eyes of his parents. The father was very happy. He tells others that even if his son does not study well that is alright with him, as long as he is obedient and respectful towards others.

There are millions of children who behave very nicely with everyone, yet their parents do not value this. Parents give more importance to the marks they score and the money that they are able to make. How sweet it would be if all the parents appreciated and celebrated good behaviour of their children rather than haunting their children for useless degrees. What will the parents gain if they raise a bad human being who is intelligent and rich? Better to be poor and humane than to be rich and inhumane.

I like this school because it is teaching good values and traditions to the children, but I don't approve of the way they worship a god women. May be every good thing comes with something bad.

How legal violence, in the form of taxes, leads to moral and social anarchy

The democratic government is no different than an autocratic or a colonial government. Revenue generation by way of taxes is one factor that makes these governments the same.

Will anybody argue that the kings and colonial governments imposed taxes on people for the benefit of the people? Democratic governments use the same exploitative way to collect money to spend for public welfare. They threaten people of imprisonment if they don't pay tax.

Why do the governments use threat to collect tax? Is it because they could not find a better way which does not use imprisonment as a threat to collect money from common people? or Is it because the democratic governments too do not trust the common people to give their cooperation to the government to work for public welfare? or Is it because the people who run the democratic governments know that common people are aware of the way they actually use the public money for their own private purposes and so try not to pay them anything?

Whatever the reason, the democratic governments continue to use an evil method to ensure social cooperation.

It is obvious that the autocratic and colonial governments imposed taxes for two reasons.

 One reason is that they wanted people to work for them for free. The kings and the Queens threatened people that if they do not pay one fourth of their income to them, they would send their soldiers and punish them or kill them. So, they used violence and threat of violence to make common people to work for them. This custom of paying money to the rulers became a habit which most people did not even think of opposing, unless it became unbearable. So, taxes became acceptable in normal times.

 The second reason is that the rulers, especially the colonial governments, wanted people to use the money issued by them as a medium of exchange. The people did not need any money to cooperate among themselves. When they needed money they used, wood or shells or any other item as money. The rulers wanted the common people to use the coins issued by them as money. They wanted this because the people would do whatever the rulers said to get the coins and the rulers just had to mint or make coins and the whole country would work for them to get these coins.Once people accepted their coins as a medium of exchange, the rulers needed to ensure only one thing to keep people working for them- they only needed to ensure tax collection. Because if they stopped tax collection, the people would not work for the government issued money and slowly the money issued by the government would stop being the medium of exchange. This will free the people and the people will no longer work for the rulers and the rulers will again have to use shameless violence and open threat to make people work for them. Imposing tax was the easy and safe way to ensure obedience from the ignorant and innocent people.

The imposition of taxes on people gives too much power in the hands of the government. The government can decide to collect higher taxes or lower taxes from certain sections of people and influence how people live.

This power of taxation has wreaked havoc in the society. It has not only torn the social fabric but has also deprived the people of any moral anchor. Now, we all see what is happening in our society- the corruption, helplessness, poverty, crime, moral degradation- The way taxes are collected has a lot to do with this state of affairs.

Every kind and free individual should strive to find a way in which we can ensure the cooperation of the people in a democratic way, without the threat of imprisonment. That definitely needs grassroots activism, because democracy can not be imposed from above, it has to come from below. Decentralisation of political power in the form of panchayati raj can be a solution.

If you too are ready to work at the grassroot level, then let us work together. let us, work fast- life is getting unbearable.

When money becomes the only means to get everything needed in life

                                              We have only one mind. And our mind is formed mainly by the socialization process. Our mind controls our body and our behavior. People have always tried to control the mind of other people for obvious reasons. That effort today has become so efficient by the use of money that nobody can escape from being used. 

                                                 Today, I am forced to think about how to make more money. My desire is to think and do many things that are noble and wonderful. However, I can’t get social cooperation by doing these noble things. For social cooperation I need money. And these noble things do not make money for me. I have no choice. I have to think about and do those things that can give me money. I can’t settle for a low paying work because the prices of things are going up every week. I need to make more and more money. There is no respite. Being a nice person can bring you sympathy, nothing more. Noble character counts for nothing. I am thinking about accepting those attitudes, habits and thoughts that can help me to make money. To survive in this connected world, I need to be like others. I need to participate in those things in which everybody is participating. If I don’t do that I won’t get any social cooperation. In a world where everything is weighed in money, I need to make money. I need to go under. But, I need to do it in a balanced way, without compromising on the key values.

Our life is being controlled and destroyed by money for power over us and for our labor.  Money is a clever political tool discovered by the elite to avoid conflicts and wars while controlling common man. (For more information on money read www.youtakeresponsibility.com) No wonder no major war has taken place since finance took over the control of the world.

                                            Money has destroyed our life and our personality. Money has divided us. Family members left each other to work for people who mysteriously have a lot of money. Everyone is left to fend for himself/herself. The security and comfort that comes from a strong family is denied to most people.  People feel insecure and try to get more money for feeling secure. From childhood people are separated from nature and reality. They are forced to live an artificial life in schools and colleges. Our normal habits, attitudes, beliefs and values are altered and unhealthy ones are injected into us. Friendship and love have become prisoners of money. Everything is measured in terms of money. Words and concepts are used to fool people to think that life is too complicated and they are helpless and incapable. These situations create people who are afraid and unsure of life. They cling to the hope that money will save them. Now, most of the people are like that. It is prudent to join them.

Life is too short to engage in useless struggles for freedom, equality and kindness. At least one won’t be lonely when one joins the mass that have only one aim, that of making money. We need to come out of the matrix created by the use of an abstract concept called money. But until we begin to come out of that matrix, I too need to enter the matrix and play the game of making money to survive. Hope this madness will end soon……and we will again value kindness and freedom and equality. Friendship and love will be free of the grip of money. Relationships will not be measured in terms of money and families will not be torn apart.